WE’RE ALL TOGETHER IN THIS – OUR FAILURES, HEARTACHES, AND STRUGGLES
Sometimes life is hard. We all know how to look good on the outside, even when things are crumbling on the inside. For a time, we can appear to have everything under control. The majority of the people we encounter each day, see only a tiny slice of our lives, and we can make that slice look great. Our marriage, our children, our career, and even our wardrobe can appear polished and well managed from a distance. But we dare not let anyone look too closely. Perhaps you can relate to Jenny’s story. . . . . . . .
Jenny fought back tears as she sat alone in the church pew and scanned the familiar faces around her. She knew that comparing herself to others was dangerous, but she coundn’t help wondering if others ever experienced the same hollow, restless felling that gnawed at her. As she looked around, her attention was drawn to the women in church. She coundn’t imagine that Sarah, sitting a few rows in front of her, had ever had a bad day. With her bright smile, Sarah brought warmth to any setting and always greeted everyone cheerfully. Looking at Sarah, it would be hard to believe her third child was only six weeks old. She seemed to have the energy of a teenager and the figure to match! How can life be so effortless for people like Sarah?
Across the aisle, Jenny observed Karen sitting close to her husband in their usual spot. He had his arm around her – as if to say, “I’m so proud of my beautiful wife!” Jenny wondered what it would be like to have a husband who shared her newfound faith. She pictured families like Karen’s huddled in the living room as they prayed and read Bible stories together. Jenny found it hard to believe that Karen ever felt the deep loneliness that she felt on a daily basis.
Then there was Claire – the Sunday School teacher for Jenny’s 4 year old daughter. Jenny thought she had sensed a look of disapproval this morning when she tried to drop her daughter off for class and experienced the weekly ritual of her trying to break the death grip her 4 year old had on her right thigh. It was hard to imagine one of Claire’s teenage boys causing that kind of a scene. Claire had been the model stay-at-home mother while Jenny’s job required her to leave her children in daycare 3 days a week. Jenny sense that behind Claire’s warm greeting this morning, there might have been some unspoken advice on how Jenny might improve her parenting skills!
These were Jenny’s perceptions on that particular Sunday morning. She saw only a sliver of the lives of these people all dressed up in their Sunday best. And her observations were full of assumptions. Her ideas about the lives of others were filtered through her own desires and insecurities. But if she could only spend more time with them, she would know that they struggle too—-in some ways that would shock her. But busyness, pride, and fear keep Jenny from really getting to know the other women.
What would happen if we all dropped our masks. What if Jenny and her fellow parishioners could see each other when they weren’t at their best? What if Jenny knew that the effervescent Sarah was trying desperately to hold her marriage together and her enviable figure was not the result of self-discipline, but rather stress-related health problems? And what if Jenny could follow Karen and her prince charming home this afternoon, only to hear the screaming and the anger in their voices because of the pile of bills on the counter that they had no idea what they were going to do with. What if Jenny finally realized that even Christians fall on hard times and struggle in their relationships because of things they can’t even control. What a difference it would make if Jenny knew that Claire actually admired Jenny’s commitment and resolve to bring her children to church each week while managing her home and career all alone. In fact, now that Claire has teenagers, she longs for the uncomplicated days when her children were young.
Life is really much the same for each of these women. The circumstances and details of their problems may be different, but they share similar challenges, disappointments, heartaches, and failures. And if they only knew how alike they really were, they could support one another and learn form one another.
Over the next few weeks, I would like to challenge you and teach you how to cope with the struggles and know that we all struggle. We all are in this together and the more we allow ourselves to share with other women, the more support, understanding and clarity we can have in our own situations. We truly need the nurturing, mentoring and guidance, not only from older women in age, but those who have experienced life. Those who have been there and done that – and have more than a T-shirt to show for it! Sometimes I have women tell me how much they appreciate something I’ve done or something I’ve shared with them, and I think back to that particular circumstance and most of the time all I did was listen. We need to learn to open up and share with one another – daily – so that those who are strong can bear up the infirmaties of the weaker. We all have scars and callouses – different places – but constant reminders of where we have been. Help someone else stay out of that pit, that mire, that trap. Share your life – Share the life of Christ – Share the life giving blood that was shed so many years ago, for you, for me, for everyone! Until next time, find a special someone to begin sharing with!
Valerie
